Saturday, 21 December 2013

What spirituality means to me

Spirituality is a very personal experience. For me it is the belief in a power greater than I, a sense of inter connected- ness, awareness of your purpose, the meaning of life and the continual development of the authentic self. Transcending into the person you were meant to be. Let's make one thing clear I absolutely love God but I prefer not to engage in religion. I honestly prefer to  trust my own experience of God's love as apposed to settling for someone else's idea of God's love. One of the reason I decided to be more focused on spirituality as apposed to religion is because I see so much hyprocracy around me and double standards when it comes to gender as well as  realising that love doesn't last because way to many people don't even know how to love themselves let alone express that love to another. The thing about love is no one can complete you, you must be so full of love and life that it is spilling over and it transforms everyone you come into contact with. The  person you truly fall in love with is not the one that ''completes you'' but the one who ''complements you''.  When I say truly fall in love I mean that anything but someone truly complementing you is but a mere illusion of love and not love itself. This other part is important someone who complements you will recognise the need for your continual growth. I think its stupid to think that people get divorced over someone changing. (Not that I am saying it's not ok to get divorced I am totally down for it if one or both parties are hindering each others spiritual energies.) People's personalities are not constant, people have the capacity to change at any point in time. I honestly hope that I will not be exactly as I am today. Yes I absolutely adore me but to me even the slightest thought that I will remain where I am makes me cringe. Who in there right mind would settle for stagnation. I believe that life is constantly evolving but we as humans are so stuck in the mind set that pain is bad and that we should avoid it at all costs. Let me tell you it cannot be stressed enough that embracing pain is the best way to fulfil your fullest potential on this Earth. Resisting change is the quickest and stupidest reason  to suffer ! How can you say you love someone yet you do not invest in them to be better than they are now? If you do not help them grow you are helping them suffer and what kind of a human being does that? You cannot choose who you love but you can choose who you want to continue to love. Love is the one this that does not cause suffering. Any love that does is a mere illusion of love. The purpose of love I think is to fulfil our highest calling , our spiritual enlightenment. Any love that doesn't inspire , challenge you and more importantly promote your continual growth is not love. This person has not learnt to love himself truly yet.  A man who really loves himself cannot permit the suffering of another. You do not destroy who you love .Examine yourself honestly and realise that the emptiness within you cannot be filled with another person. Heal yourself before you wreck another person.
Heart Follower

Thursday, 19 December 2013


Anytime you feel negative emotion, stop and say: Something is important here; otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What is it that I want? And then simply turn your attention to what you do want. . . . In the moment you turn your attention to what you want, the negative attraction will stop; and in the moment the negative attraction stops, the positive attraction will begin. And—in that moment—your feeling will change from not feeling good to feeling good. That is the Process of Pivoting. -Abraham

I have begun to practise this in my every day life. Whenever I am engaging in something challenging and I notice negative thoughts begin to arise. I stop, take a breathe and pivot to a new thought or action. Sometimes the best way we can continue is to stop and take a breather. There is no point to over-extend yourself at the cost of your sanity. Your health is your wealth! Yes persistence is of the utmost importance. But each individual is different and once you know yourself  and you know that this is not you quitting you can confidently stop for a breather as opposed to defeatedly giving up.
Here's the thing though, can you honestly say you know what you are capable of? Have you ever pushed past the limits you previously thought you had? Can you say that you know when you are  confidently take a break or quitting?  Do you even know the difference?

I cannot stress more that knowledge of yourself is the one  thing that  ignites your path to success. When you truly know who you are, you will undoubtedly notice something beautifully amazing about you. When you realise this unending potential within you, this sudden realisation will not be denied and so you would not be able to fathom even the slightest  idea of letting such an overwhelming abundance of  awesomeness die within you. The questions still remains; Can you pivot yourself from this life you are drudging along now living into the life you were destined for? You are destined for greatness. Won't you accept this challenge of pivoting yourself into that legendary mind set?

Heart Follower

Wednesday, 18 December 2013


True merit like a mirror, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.- Edward F. Halifax

Do not be do quick to confuse timidity and humility. Time  and time  again people have  confused  the  two. Sure  there  will be times  when  the two over lap because no one  is one  thing  at every single waking moment. But generally speaking humility is thoroughly over looked . It's one of my favourite qualities in a person . It's so refreshing to find someone who is  larger than life ,successful and doesn't feel the need to draw attention to it. It's that one quality that draws me to my knees. Humility  also lends itself to authenticity because one can not be humble without being authentic. Very few people are actually authentic. They run around wearing masks. Honestly why do you do this? You do realise that the only way to be human is to be vulnerable thereby   connecting  better with people. The more meaningful connections you have, the more you and the ones you care about see just how awesome you are. Therefore the  more you will act in ways that signifies that you are a person of significance. Only the confident are humble.  There is no need to proclaim  your brilliance if it actually exists- ain't that right?

Don't confuse someone's loudness or boldness for confidence either. You can certainly tell when someone is truly confident the pace of their speech is not slow or too fast nor is it too loud or too soft, they have found the happy middle ground. They are avid at swerving the conversation from being the listener and being the responder. There is ample give and take in this convo. Watch out for this. A truly confident person does not shut people up. He allows for everyone to be heard because he is not conceited nor does he believe there is only  one way to do something.

Humility is that quality that exemplifies true leadership as well as a profound mastery of skills. Humility is not insecurity, quite the opposite it is the complete security of oneself that is unbounded in the opinions of others.

Heart Follower


If they respect you, respect them.  
If they disrespect you, respect them.
Do not allow the actions of others to change your attitude.
You represent you and your ideals, it has nothing to do with them.
If you respect you, that respect will flow constantly and consistently onto others.
May respect follow you.

I have thought a lot about this. Someone's respect for you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how much they value themselves. Someone who values themselves values the time they have and so will not waste it on people who do not recognise their unshakable and un-bounding worthiness. I have come to believe that it does not matter if someone else respects you, all that truly matters is whether or not you respect you. See if you can see just how amazing you really are you would act in ways that signify this respect you have for yourself. People will gravitate towards you and be amazed by the standards you have set up for yourself. But this does not mean that everyone will respect you. And you know what it really does not matter! Because if you respect you someone else's disrespect for you is unmistakeably  inconsequential.
Sometimes no matter how much you change your ways and respect yourself more, you cannot force people to respect you. In time they may but you must allow people to come to terms with this new you in their own time. Remember that everyone is battling their own battles don't take it personally when someone disrespects you.
Take what you need, take what you can and forgive the rest!
Sometimes it is in our best interest to not hold on to these people too tightly, don't  internalise and over-analyse what they say . Draw a line in the sand and state your boundaries. It's ok to have your own rules and regulations for playing. Don't ever be ashamed of having boundaries. Use what you can from what they are giving you, give your utmost best but do not feel like you are giving more than them . Because from their perspective that is the most they can possibly give. It's your choice whether to accept it or not. Always remember that no one can satisfy all your needs so don't be to harsh. Forgive them and move on if you must.
Heart Follower

There is no right or wrong path

There is no RIGHT way to grow. On a spiritual journey it is common to want everyone to be on the same path as you. But you have to honor people's differences and allow them their given-born right to live as they so desire to. Be intrusive and loving, look beyond the form of people's beliefs to the essence. There is a right way for each individual but that right way is different for everyone. So trust that they do in fact know what they are doing and trust that God has a plan for them. Do not pressure people into living life your way. Sometimes the best way to show people the way is not to say anything at all just let your actions speak for itself. If you walk a path of authenticity there is no need to use a loud speaker to draw attention to it. Your actions will always speak louder than words. When you show up authentic you make space for others to follow suit.
It is a fact that sometimes it pain, depression or some traumatic event for people to realise that they have ignored the spirit. But it takes the deeps of despair to reveal ourselves to ourselves. It takes this darkness to expose our true strength. Without the ups and downs in life we wouldn't be alive.
Sometimes when we look at someone, even given all the facts and draw conclusions on how someone else should have acted in certain situations we lose out. Even given all the facts on how they  experience what they are experiencing  is absolutely  not how you would experience what they are experiencing. Fact! Let's try to understand people instead of judging their actions. Every response to a situation someone makes is in line with their current awareness level. So don't judge. There was a time when even you were not as aware as you are now. So quit the judging! ONLY you have to love your own path. You don't have to love someone else's path just focus on your own and mind your own path.
''To judge someone by their weakest attribute is like judging the ocean by 'one' wave.''-Elvis Presley
Heart Followers

Sunday, 15 December 2013

The spiritual journey is hard

The spiritual journey can be especially hard when your companions are few. The road feels all the more lonely and even worse at times when it's like your not even on your side. When you first decide to make that first step you will think this will be absolutely amazing. Truthfully that is not the case! You will have plenty of massive leaps into the abyss. You will forget at times who you really are and will at on point or more than once want to give it up and just go back to the way things were. But you can't go back now. You have come thus far!

I know it's hard to drop the ego. To give the formed identity you have of yourself, to let go of attachment, to reprogramme your mind, drop hatred, anxiety, shyness, to conquer your fears as well as your limiting beliefs. To become the kind, compassionate, assertive, intuitive, intellectual, fearless, dedicated, forgiving person you so desire to become, you have got to let it go. The ego can be  so conniving and tricky that it can hide itself in subtle ways. But you were not meant to be this way. Yes you are spirit but never forget that you are human too! So don't be afraid to feel what you feel as the feeling arises. There is nothing wrong with experiencing the bad, the ugly, the unforgivable, the heart-breaking, the numbing  pain of betrayal. Absolutely nothing wrong with going through this. You gottta feel it to heal it! Many times people who experience the deepest pains also experience post-traumatic growth. Which simply means immense personal development after experiencing something traumatic.

In many ways pain is not meant to break you but to reveal your true strength and unshakable capacity to survive, adapt and thrive. It is meant to uncover a part of you that was hidden when the ego was in control. Once you check the ego at the door it makes it that much easier to delve deeper into your greatness! Every time life presents a new challenge, rise to the plate, and swing.

Heart Follower

Saturday, 14 December 2013

Why I am scared of falling in love......

I remember distinctly reading ''The Strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde'' , for me it was an eye opener. I suddenly saw with such clarity. That book impacted me in such a way that I can read people with great accuracy without knowing much . From this book I begun to note that many people wear masks and that sometimes the person you think you know on the outside is not who that person really is. It hit home for me because I realised I knew people who were like this-two different people. Now I realise you may be getting bored with this so you are more than welcomed to stop reading now but you will miss out on the lesson in the story here.
I noticed that for some people  love meant saying it once in a while and for others it meant showing it everyday. Now mind you people do show there love in different ways but to me just saying it was not hitting the mark. Words mean nothing if it is not backed up by the way you treat another person. Yes there are others ways to show love and yes the way you show it is different for each person  but to me you ought to say less and mean more!
Love is not about manipulation, control, anger or jealousy. Love does not live on such. It's not about using the person to meet your own ends. It's about compromise and it's also about ensuring that the other person does not have to live in your shadow. I don't believe in the statement that'' Behind every great man is a great woman'' That's preposterous! It implies that men get all the glory and attention whilst women do all the propping and the actual work. Why can't it be side by side huh? This is not equality nor a world I should like to live in. I guess what I am most scared of is not being alone, I actually quite enjoy my own company but to fall in love with someone who for the life of me is just an emotional vampire. Let me clarify  I don't fear commitment I think that part comes naturally when you care abut someone. I just fear falling in love because it's  so hard to say goodbye to someone who you love and you know is not good for you yet you keep going back like a helpless flightless bird because the love is holding you there. Love really does make you do crazy things and I know it's kind of asking a lot of the universe to say hey when I do fall in love make sure  it's not with an a-hole or a man who won't treat me like I deserve to be treated. But you ought to believe you deserve better than that. Don't fall for someone who is not determined to show you exactly what you mean to them. They should never let a day go by without showing you how much they care. If they fail to show it you better believe it does not exist because someone who cares will show it, every decision they make will take you into consideration.
I now have come to believe that there is absolutely no need to search for love because there is and always will be enough love within me. I believe that there is no such thing as a man shortage. Because as soon as one man decides to leave another man comes along much like buses. I  hold fast to the belief that inspite of all my short-comings I am and forever will be inherently and irrevocably good enough. Nothing and no man can change that! In fact  my worth is not even dependant on anything at all- I am just simply worthy regardless. That's why falling in love is no longer on my radar I am letting the universe handle that now!

Heart Follower

Friday, 13 December 2013

Unconditional love

Is that even possible? Is man capable of acting on love without even the slightest urgency of a love returned? Could man be that pure of heart? Is man capable of such?

These questions boggle my mind with such a resounding  fortitude that it is undeniable. If we were to take a man, strip away  his ego I'd say it was possible. In fact I would say the only being capable of loving another without any conditions is a man who has mastered himself and has been strip down to the core of his inner being, ego-less. It is the ego which promotes the disillusionment of building bridges when the ego does not facilitate such. Only love can. Only love can build bridges by which promotes the intimacy required for fulfilling a satisfied union. So who can love you regardless of situations or circumstance well your mother. This is not to say others may not. There may be plenty of people who love you for you irrespective of your short-comings. And that is the most beautiful thing one can experience. To be loved, valued and appreciated just by virtue of who you and not for what you can offer. Many people would kill to experience such a feeling.

One thing to note is that the love we hold for others is a direct reflection of the love we hold for ourselves. So  anytime our love fails it is because we do not love ourselves enough. You must love yourself so much so that love spills over and perfumes everyone that comes into contact with you.
So what is this unconditional love business about? Can you honestly say that you would love this person regardless of the situation, circumstance or who they might be.

For this kind of love to be brought into your life you must give up all notions of how you think he/she should be. Let love show up on its own terms. The universe is always on your side. Be weary that when you do find a good guy to remember that not everyone shows love the same ways, honor each others uniqueness and aim to understand each other. Embrace the differences. Let love show up!

Heart Follower

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

What we achieve inwardly will change our outer reality

What we achieve inwardly will change our outer reality.-Plutarch

Every limiting belief you let go of, every time you refuse to act in ways which were previously thought to be the only way, every time you embrace the habits of the new person you wish to become you change. This affirms the fact that self-awareness and exploration is important. Growth always starts within then manifests outward. Anytime you feel dissatisfied with you where you are at, look within and notice that there is a misalignment of intention. Correct your limiting belief! Quite often we have labelled a thing we wish to change as a good thing in a another  name in our belief system. This misalignment of intentions will not correct itself you must.

''Remember.......the entrance to the sanctuary lies inside you.''-Rumi
 We don't  need magic to change the world, you hold within you all the tools necessary and all the power required to change yourself and the outer world will follow suit. The greatest gift you can possibly give to the world is your own transformation. Won't you transform?
Heart Follower

Sunday, 8 December 2013

The Art of Solitude

As a self-proclaimed introvert I personally know the benefits of solitude but since everyone is not an introvert and in actuality no one person is strictly an introvert or extrovert as that would make that person clinically insane. That such temperaments or personalities  exists on a spectrum and to operate at our best means to honor the introvert as well as the extrovert in each one of us. But since we live in a extrovert world that promotes anything extroverted it is of the utmost importance that we all hone our introversion. There is a saying that to be a master at anything  you must dedicate 10,000 hours. This is largely true. But the true mastering of a craft begins when you are alone- just you and what ever task lays before you. As a blogger, I noticed that to be utterly alone with myself, no distractions, I can completely surrender myself to my work, I also practise this sort of mindfulness with my other tasks. I feel I can best tap into my creative energy when I am alone. Without people around to give me even the slightest notion to conform to their way of thinking instead of trusting my own . I have never in my wildest dreams found something more companionable than solitude. It's ironic how slipping away from all this social media and social interaction makes a person feel so connected and so alive. When you are utterly alone you can be yourself well without the judgements of the world  it   allows your creativity to flow.  Nikola Tesla stated, “The mind is sharper and keener in seclusion and uninterrupted solitude. Originality thrives in seclusion free of outside influences beating upon us to cripple the creative mind. Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born.” He and many other great minds will tell you the same. There is a certain amount of aloneness that comes with the mastery of your craft but then again are you really alone if you are always there for you? Well do you trust yourself? Can you really be absolutely alone without using an escape? I honestly believe that the greatest test of a man's authenticity is whether the disposition he keeps in solitude is the same he keeps in a crowd. Many will not know the truth but a man lying to himself will know it for himself and hopefully this might ignite something inside him. Spend some loving alone time with yourself. Discover new things about you. Use this new awareness of yourself and your circumstances to propel you further in life. You were not meant to be mediocre!  You are destined for greatness!

Warning: I am not, however by any means saying to give all your possessions and go live in the mountains indefinitely. Or to completely seclude yourself from society. I am simply saying that the quality of being an introvert is nothing to ashamed of and that we should nurture both our extrovert and introvert within all of us. Lovingly accept ourselves as we are then move on from there.

Heart Follower


Age and maturity  have no correlation.  Way too many times I have found adults  that still act  like  children. Not in a good way in a way that questions their age and superiority among other things. When we lock our inner child and do not deal with the trauma that they have endured, our inner child starts to control our lives. The ''inner child'' is simply a metaphor for the place within each and everyone of us that is adventurous, cheerful, playful, curious. It is the part of us that never ceases to dream, to imagine, to be bold and creative. Without the expression of our inner child life is dull and monotonous. When we have allowed the world to taint us we become alone, sad, mistrustful, tense, irritable and suspicious among other things. Once we haven't designated time to heal our inner child, he/she will lash out in subtle ways through out our lives relentlessly. It is begging for healing, its asking you to simply let the love in. Truth is our inner child needs healing, when we ignore it our lives will continue to suffer. Until we heal our inner child we will never reach our true potential or become our highest self. We must dig deeper to soar higher.
As children, we internalised our every short-coming or everything we perceived to have done wrong as us not being good enough or there being something wrong with us. We essentially learned to reject ourselves. We ought to become more loving and nurturing with ourselves. To heal our past hurts we must look at your past and instead of wondering what was I thinking we must think what was I learning. Because every situation in your past is molding you into the person you were meant to be. We must forgive ourselves for neglecting our inner child and make a promise to heal ourselves before it is too late. We ought to lovingly accept our inner child as he/she is. Embrace all the quirky, frail, lovable and silly parts. Remind yourself daily that you are perfect, whole and lovable just as you are. Release the hurt by loving your inner child. NOTHING can heal like love can!
Below  is what maturity looks like if you don't exhibit these indicators be sure to re-evaluate yourself. Notice the reasons why you do what you do. Begin to heal your inner child and notice that you too will begin to act in the ways explained below.

  Indicators of Emotional maturity:
  • Love is sharing. Fosters a sense of security which allows vulnerability and strength. Can accept love.
  • Uses emotions as an energy source; can set goals and seek solutions.
  • Confronts and analyses challenges promptly, seeks many solutions and chooses the best ones. Accepts responsibility.
  • Helps enhance the quality of life of their loved ones and can accept help.
  • Life is a learning experience. Accepts responsibility and learns from feedback. Looks for opportunities. Moves on!
  • Relaxed and confident enough to plan and achieve what they want.
  • Is adaptable. A great independent worker, manager to team worker when required to. Experiences empathy and compassion.

Take time to care for your inner child. You must dig deeper to soar higher. After all you're worth it! You are destined for greatness.

Heart Follower

Saturday, 7 December 2013

Bend before it breaks

You know that feeling, that intuitive knowing that something great is brewing, that all this time spent in agony over decisions some of which were beyond your control are finally tipping in your favour. That your wounds are healing well and though certain things are falling apart they are falling apart so that you can fall and be reassembled as you were meant to be. That deep contentment for life that suddenly overwhelms you and you cannot help but want to dance and scream. It's weird that things are completely  falling apart and yet you feel  absolutely happy about it like finally a break though.

Sometimes we must fall apart, break what once was to allow us to move into greater and more suiting things. Sometimes the old patterns which evidently have faults and breaks in the system will collapse on their own to allow a new and better way of being to reign. Allow this to happen! Don't fret over what other people might think because of where you are in life, fact is most people don't think all that much. Don't let your thoughts about how someone might think of what you are doing deter you from doing what makes you happy. Let your awesomeness flow-just let it flow uninhibited. Once you are happy with where you are at and where you are heading the opinions of others means nothing to you. FOCUS on what ever it is you wish to attract. Allow yourself to be happy. Don't you dare ask yourself what someone else might think if you did something its your life. You choose how you live it. Make no apologies for being you.

Sometimes we might become  fearful or uneasy and resentful when things end and I used to too, but lately everything that has come to an end excites me. I get enthusiastic about the new things that will manifest in my life and how much I will grow. I do feel a bit sad when people must leave but I realise their presence in my story has ended but not necessarily their impact. Sometimes it is possible to love people from afar and have their presence in your heart inspire and motivate you into becoming all that you were meant to be. Sometimes, well that is all we need. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. I noticed every time I failed to be more like someone  I admired, I become a little more like me-the authentic me. That I find beautiful! Every new layer and dimension to me excites me and I just have to share my findings, hope you can appreciate it.

When things start to break, begin to lean into a new way of thinking, change  your mind set, bend into a new way of being. By all means move. Be proactive! Be a force to be reckoned with! Instead of talking the talk, walk the talk. LESS THINKING, MORE DOING! Cement your new way of being by  taking consistent, purposeful actions steps into the right path. By right path I mean the path of your choosing, don't be afraid to blaze new trails, you are a unique individual you don't deserve a path taken by mere common men. Let's move people!

Heart Follower

Monday, 2 December 2013

Love is blind?

"Love is not blind-It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less." Will Moss
Love is the only thing that provides vision. The important things in life are invisible to the eye; it is only the heart  that can comprehend. Love  to me is an irreplaceable  experience. Love  provides  us with  a mirror. When  you look into  the eyes  of the one  you love  you find  everything  you longed  for, everything  you are, were  and desire  to be reflected  back to you. Because  of this  irrespective  of how  it ends,  love  is the perfect  avenue  for personal  growth. I think  that  is the  true  purpose  of love, to provide  each lover   with  clarity  of vision. Without  clarity  of vision  we are like  a headless  chicken crossing a busy highway.
When we think of love or true love in our minds we start to measure up what that ideal person would be like when that is not love. If you ever find it hard to see the good in your partner or another loved one it is simply because you are not seeing your true essence with your heart. When you judge your partner or loved one saying that he is not social enough, he is not good looking enough, not interesting enough, not outgoing enough, not sexy enough and what not we are essentially limiting yourself. The common word ''enough'' in these examples suggest that you are defining this person by a set belief system based on what you see with your eyes and not the heart. Love is felt by the heart no? Love cannot be quantified. Thus there is no right amount of love. Choose to see people with the eyes of your heart. LET DOWN THOSE WALLS! Let go of past hurts, failed relationships, just because you were hurt before does not mean it will happen this time around. LET THE LOVE IN!
Heart Follower

Saturday, 30 November 2013

When your fears start to manifest

All you feel  like  screaming  is I hate  you to the person  you once  loved. A million  thoughts  transpire  and materialise  into reality. How  can I hate  you so much ? Well  your  a liar for one . You  spun  my head round  until  it was unscrewed and then ask where  my sanity  had gone ! Down  the grain  of course  along  with your  morality, chivalry and your  humility. Arrogant fool, I hate you, love  you and hate  that  I love  you despite  it all. What  is it that  you do to me? Have  you got your  love  spells  in those  eyes ....well  take  them  out because  I don't  want  fall for your  wicked  games  anymore. Loving  you is such  a chore  I might  as well give  up the race. Let someone  else  have  you. Because  you give  me nothing  but time  to bleed and bleed  my blood  and you stare  without  a care  in the world. I hate you but I love  you. Never  thought  that  was possible but I guess  it is because  that  is exactly  how  I feel. Stupid  fool ,ok I know  it was initially  my fault  but I ........
I regret  it so much  now and it pains  me to admit it  because  I know  you don't  care anymore. I hate  that  you don't  care anymore  but I know  its  my fault . Wish  it  could  be fixed but you have  moved  on and I haven't . Silly  old me ......
Excuse the melodrama! Whenever you feel like this realise that you deserve far better than this. LET IT GO! LET IT GO! LET IT GO! That's all there is to it! Let it go and let God guide you to far better places. Allow God to fill you where ever this person left cracks.
Heart Follower