Don't be ruled by 'shoulds'

Sometimes we have this undeniable ache in life inspite of doing everything according to plan, the plan so meticulously calculated for us by our parents and society. When we live it out we get this nagging feeling like 'Is this it?, ' Is this what the sum of all my efforts have afforded me?' When this happens  we can't help but just burn it all in the hopes that only our truest truth will rise again out of the ashes like a phoenix. Sometimes we can work hard on something and we really don't get a reward or accomplishment for it, but we do become a better person for it. When we thrust ourselves in our work and experience 'flow' no matter how little results you produce. You will always create the right environment for your truth to emerge when you engage intently on your desires. That in turn creates the desired fuel for your mission.

So, I don't feel remorse for my decisions, because each has forged me into the person I am today. I don't feel guilt or shame because nothing is done in vain. All I hold dear is the one I know without reason is the source of my breathing. Life is all about allowing your truest truth to be expressed because we are nothing without it.

Yea, some days I feel out of sync but that also makes me feel alive. I don't feel as hard or passive as a rock, I feel so much and it can be overwhelming at times to feel but that only makes me more human. I'm not always bubbling with joy at every moment, and I'm not painless and I still cry sometimes. But that's just because I feel everything now instead tricking myself into hiding and numbing the pain away. I feel unsure, I Feel passionate and clarity and purposeful. Luckily the pain doesn't last forever. I definitely don't always have the answers to everything and I don't beat myself about it anymore. I can trust that with each step I am guided perfectly. I know now that the only way to be truly spiritual is to allow myself to be guided by my inner loving whisper, my God conscious instead of  everything else.

xoxoxo
Heart Follower

My Reckless Heart

I love as easily as a child. It´s just love after all. No harm, no foul. We only learn to love by loving. Even when you hurt me. I love you relentlessly. That´s just me.That´s how I love. There can be nor fire that can keep me. My love knows no chains. And I will let my reckless heart love this way. For I know love knows no ends. It´s the very means by which we exist.

Where there is pure potentiality that´s where my heart will be. It will love regardless of who or what and will keep doing so, even if I want it to stop. My heart will probably go on loving beyond eternity. And I will let it love who it loves, even if it´s not returned to sender, or my message get lost in the mail, or it takes 20 years to find it or I never do. It´s going to love on wards in between the shadows where the corners of my soul meets yours.Where loves knows not of wrong or right, where labels or jurisdictions have no place, where possibility of your existence has left behind traces and scents in my left frontal lobe.

It will love you before you come into my life, as if the angels have left me subtle hints of who you are, and  I followed their guidance and it lead me directly to you. I will love you in techni-colour, when the clouds are blue or grey, I will love you when you no longer love me, or never did. But don´t think that because I´m a loving person means I will sacrifice everything I stand for. Part of loving means picking your battles, there is nothing wrong with choosing to be myself  over another. Another who loves you would not want to taint who you are.So maybe don´t bite more than you will be willing to give. I´m not down for revenge. When I notice my heart is being compromised, I won´t get even, I will leave you . Because you dared give me reason, so I left without a care.

Another time, another place, I´ll love you in the quiet and deep oceans of my soul but I won´t sacrifice my heart in the process. When I leave I my heart will go on loving you, without reason or care. I won't fight it, I learnt a long time ago that there was no use in trying to. My reckless heart will love you straightforwardly, no arrogance or intricacies involved. It will reach out beyond the surface, see you as you are, all mis-placed, mis-shapen, and love you, it will acknowledged you, reach out and touch you.

When I look outside I see beauty every where, I look within  and I see the same beauty. When I am graced with presence of anything outside of me, I begin to count the reason why it is beautiful. The more reasons I find, the more reason I have to love. I love like a kid high on coke and candy, drunk with the fantasy that only love can save us all. Because it can!

xoxoxo
Heart Follower